A Store that Sells NewHusbands

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids,and are Extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor The Sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.


One thought on “A Store that Sells NewHusbands

  1. “Yes madam, how may we help you?”
    “Hi, I’m looking for a man who’s rugged, assertive, successful in his career – preferably banking or law or some other well-paid city job…. and I want him to be dominant – an alpha male basically”
    “…anything else?”
    “Yes… I also want him to be the opposite of all those things as well…. emotionally available, sensitive, intuitive, caring, considerate and really nice and understanding”
    “OK… anything else?”
    “Yes… I want a car that’s also a boat and a submarine…. a sunbed hovercraft bread maker… and a zero maintenance thoroughbred racehorse please”
    “No problem madam, I’ll just have those items sent up from the storeroom… and how would madam like to pay for these items – or would you like us to give them to you for free, along with this delicious cheesecake which actually helps you stay slim?”
    “Um…. I’ll take them all for free, along with the slimming cheesecake, thank you very much!”
    “Certainly madam – have a nice day!”

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